Love Dare Day 26

Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it, by receiving it as counsel.



Feel free to post your thoughts/experiences on this dare

Today will be hard, but as you seek God's strength and wisdom, you will be able to get through it. This day could be a milestone in your marriage if you allow it to be. So resolve to focus on what the Lord may be saying to you and purpose to follow his leading.

Today is about personal responsibility. It's something we all agree that others should have, but struggle to maintain it ourselves. Over the past few decades there has been a decline in personal responsibility. More and more people seem less likely to acknowledge their own mistakes. We see it in politics, businesses, and in celebrity headlines.

We tend to believe our views are correct, or at least more correct than our mates. And we do not believe that anyone, given our same set of circumstances, would act must differently than we have. As far as we are concerned, we're doing the best we can. And our spouse ought to be glad we are as good to them as we are.

But love does not pass blame or justify selfish motives. Love is not nearly concerned with it's own performance as with other's needs. When love takes responsibility for its actions, its not to prove how noble you've been, but rather to admit how much further you have to go.

Love does not make excuses, it keeps working to make a difference - in you and your marriage.

That is why the next time you are in an argument with your spouse, stop and see if there is something worth listening to in what your mate is saying. What might happen in your relationship if instead of passing the blame you first admitted your own wrongs?

Love is responsible and willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front. Are you taking responsibility for this person you chose for yourself as the love of your life? How deliberate are you about making sure your spouse's needs are met? Or are you only concerned with your spouse fulfilling yours? Love calls us to take responsibility for our partner in marriage. To love, honor and cherish them.

A real heart of repentance may take a while to grow in you. Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and your spouse are crucial for a healthy relationship.

This does not mean that you are always wrong and your spouse is right. But that if there is something that's not right between you and God, or you and your spouse, then that should be first priority.

Confess your areas of sin first. Then you'll be on better grounds to work things out with your spouse. (1 John 1:18-19)

Can your spouse say that you have wronged or wounded them in any way and never made it right? Part of taking responsibility is admitting you have failed and ask for forgiveness.

The problem is, to do it sincerely you must swallow your pride and seek forgiveness regardless of how your spouse responds. They should forgive you, but your responsibility does not lie with their decision. Admitting your mistakes is YOUR responsibility. If they have wronged you, leave it for them to deal with another time.

Updates on Blogger

On My Family Blogger.... I have A Gene Simmons Military Tribute that you MUST watch, I have some pictures of some 4 and 4T girls clothes I am selling for CHEAP low prices!, Our floor plan ideas for our new house, My Memorial Day message, Why Walmart sucks! so stay in touch and catch up on all the blogs i may not have had a chance to post on Myspace ... http://armyknightslady.blogspot.com/

On my Creative Blogger. See what I made for my Fallen Hero's... http://stormyariescreations.blogspot.com/?zx=c433f8bd47fff5c4

Are you keeping up with my Love Dare Blog? I am on Day 25. I have slacked off and gotten lazy but I am almost there! Sunday was the last day of Mustang Marriage and I have yet to post about THAT! It was awesome as usual. http://bellaslovedare.blogspot.com/

Of course we stay busy preparing for William's arrival. I am now 29 weeks pregnant and I have just less than 10 weeks to go WOOHOO! I will be posting his 3D Ultrasound pictures once I get them today so don't miss checking back on my blog, reading about my baby shower and things are going to get busier the closer we get!
http://anotherrecruitontheway.blogspot.com/
I've still be narley sick but I am hanging in there.
Here is how I keep people updated on what I am doing for William
http://peridotchecklist.blogspot.com/

Of course when I post a blog to Xanga it posts on my face book as well!
Don't forget myspace www.myspace.com/armyknightslady!

Love Dare Day 25

Whatever you have not forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to 'forgive us of our debts' each day we must ask him to help us 'forgive our debtors' as well. Unforgiveness have been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart "I choose to forgive."



Feel free to post your thoughts/experiences on this dare

This one is tough. Perhaps the toughest dare. But if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a daily basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It can not be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put in practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage will not.

Imagine yourself in a prison like setting. As you look around you see a number of cells visible from where you are standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there- people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point. You might see your parents, perhaps a brother or sister or other family members. Even you spouse is locked nearby, trapped with the others in this jail of your making.

The prison is a room in your heart. This dark, drafty, depressed chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.

But you do not want a part in it. These people knew what they were doing, yet they did it anyways, even your spouse the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You are unwilling to stay there any longer, seeing Jesus, seeing the key in his hand, knowing what he is asking you to do. It is too much.

But in trying to escape you realize there is no way out. You are trapped inside with all the others. You unforgiveness, anger, bitterness have made you a prisoner as well. Like the servant of Jesus' in the bible who was forgiven an impossible debt-but who did not forgive another who had debt with him, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is dependent on your forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you are not turning them loose, you are just turning them over to God who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You are saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It is not about winning or losing anymore, it is about freedom and letting go.

Great marriages are not created by people who have never hurt each other, only by those who choose to 'keep no record of wrongs'. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Love Dare day 24

End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you have swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust can not be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed -today- and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with his perfect love.

Feel free to post your thoughts/experiences on this dare

Adam and Eve were supplied with everything they needed in the garden of Eden. But after Eve was deceived by the serpent she saw the forbidden fruit and set her heart on it. Before long Adam joined in her wishes, and against God's command both of them ate.
That's the progression. From eyes to heart to action. And then follows shame and regret. We too have been supplied with everything we need for a full, productive life. "We have brought nothing into the world, so we can take nothing out of it either."(I Timothy 6:7). But the Bible goes onto say that having the basics of food and clothing, we should be 'content.' And Jesus promises these 2 things will always be provided to God's children. (Matthew 6:25-26).
God's blessings however go so far beyond these fundamental needs we could rightly say we want for nothing. Yet like Adam and Eve, we still want more. So we set our eyes and hearts on seeking worldly pleasure. We try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. For many it's seeking sexual fulfillment in another person or in the pornographic images designed to FEEL like a real person. We look, stare, and fantasize. We try to be discreet but barely turn our eyes away. And once our eyes are captured by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. Then we act on our lust.
We can lust after possessions or power or prideful ambition. We see what others have and we want it. Our hearts are deceived into saying 'I could be happy only if I had this.' And then we make the decision to go after it.
Lust is in opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. And for a believer it's the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. That's because every object of your lust-rather it's a young co-worker, or actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house or car-represents the beginning of a lie. This person or thing that seems to promise sheer satisfaction is more like a bottomless pit of longings.
Lust always breeds more lust. Lust will make you dissatisfied with your husband or wife. It breeds anger, numbs hearts, and destroys marriages. Rather than fullness it leads to emptiness. It is time to expose lust for what it really is. A misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill. Lust is like a warning light, alerting you to the fact that you are not allowing God's love to fill you. When your eyes and heart are on him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not the endless cycle of regret and condemnation.
Are you tired of being lied to by lust? Are you fed up with believing that forbidden pleasures are able to keep you happy and content? Then begin setting your eyes on the Word of God. Let his promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. And while you are at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again. Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers you the best life in the world.

Love Dare Day 23

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing away your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.



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Marriage is made up of many things, including joys, sorrows, successes and failures. But when you think about what you want marriage to be like, the furthest thing from your mind is a battleground. However, there are some battles you should be more willing to fight. These are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse.

Unfortunately marriage has enemies out there. They come in different forms and use different strategies, but nonetheless they will conspire to destroy your relationship unless you know how to ward them off.

Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies, and unrealistic comparisons. It's a battle you must wage to protect your marriage- when love puts on armor and picks up a sword to defend its own. Your mate and your marriage need your constant protection from things like:

Harmful influences. Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home? The Internet and television can be productive additions to your home, but they can also bring destructive content and drain away precious hours from your family. The same goes with work schedules that keep you separated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time. You can't protect your home when you're rarely there, nor when you are relationally disconnected. You have to fight to keep the balance right.

Unhealthy relationships. Not everyone has the material to be a good friend. Not every man you hunt and fish with speaks wisely when it comes to marriage. Not every woman in your lunch group has a good perspective on commitment and priorities. In fact, anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve to be given the title of 'friend'. And you certainly must be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships at work, the gym, or even the church to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you have already given your heart.

Shame. Everyone deals with some level of inferiority and weaknesses. And because marriage has a way of exposing it to you and your mate, you need to protect your wife/husbands vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public. Their secrets are your secrets (unless of course these involve destructive behaviors that are putting anyone in danger). Generally speaking, love hides the fault of others, it covers their shame.

Parasites. Watch out for parasites. A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They're usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you do not, it will destroy you.

Wives-you have the role as protector in your marriage. You must guard your heart from being led away through novels, magazines, and other forms of entertainment that blur your perception of reality and put unfair expectations on your husband. Instead you must do your part in helping him feel strong, while also avoiding talk-show thinking that can lure your attention away from your family. .

Men-you are the head of your home. You are the one responsible to God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. This is no small assignment. It requires a heart of courage and a head of preemptive action. Jesus said:"If the head of the house had known what time of night the thief was coming, he would have been on alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into" . This role is yours. Take it seriously.

Love Dare Day 22

Love is a choice not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you do not love me in return."



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As Christians, love is the base of our whole identity. Our spiritual birth came about because . When asked to clarify what the greatest commandments of all were, Jesus answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart......and your neighbor as yourself ."

Our love for each other is the root and groun of our existence. It is the quality we are always supossed to be getting better at, and becoming increasingly defined by it.

So if love is what we were created to share, what do you do when your love is rejected? How do you handle it when the one whom you've pledged your life stops accepting the love you're called to give?


God is like this story. At times we have acted shamefully and rejected him, yet he still loves us and remains faithful. Even so, his love does not keep him from calling us to account for our mistreatment of him. We pay more price for our mistreatment of him than we often realize. Yet he still responds with grace and mercy. In him we have the model of what rejected love does, it stays faithful.

Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount.

From your wedding day, you never dreamed the person you married might later be one to who you would need to love as an act of almost total sacrifice. And yet far too often, in marriage, the relationship does dwindle down to that level. Even to the point of betrayal, or sadly, to unfaithfulness. For many, this is the beginning of the end. Some respond rapidly by moving toward a tragic divorce. Others, more protective of their reputation than their happiness keep the charade going. But they have no intention of liking it, much less of loving each other again.

This is not the model of followers of Christ. It love is to be like his, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted. And for love to be like that, it must be his love to begin with.

You can give undeserved love to your spouse, because God gave undeserved love to you-repeatedly, enduringly. Love is often expressed the most, to those who deserve it the least.

Ask him to fill you with the love only he can provide, then purpose to give it to your mate in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you.

Love Dare Day 21

Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your bible. Try reading a chapter out of proverbs each day (there are 31-a full month's supply), or reading a chapter in the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). As you do immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with him.


Day 20 was an important day in the fare and in your life. You came face to face with the glaring need of every human heart. And perhaps for the first time, you became aware of how personal this need really is. You may have realized that nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources could repair the damage that sin leaves, and that Jesus is the only one who can supply what you have been missing. If you've received him in faith and have turned your life over to him to manage and lead, then his holy spirit is renewing your heart. His wisdom, grace, and power can now be released into everything you do, including your marriage.

Rather this is new to you or not, now is the time for you to firm up one thing in your mind: you need God every single day. This is not a part-time proposition. He alone can satisfy even when all else fails you.

Every day you place expectations on your spouse. Sometimes they meet them, sometimes they don't. But never will they be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them-partly because some of your demands are unreasonable, partly because your mate is human.

Can your spouse give you inner peace? No. But God can. (Philippians 4:6-7). Can your spouse enable you to be content no matter what life throws at you? No. But God can. (Philippians 4:12-13).

There are needs in your life that only God can satisfy. Though your husband/wife is able to complete some of these requirements-at least now and then- only God is able to do it all. Your need for love. Your need for acceptance. Your need for joy. It is time to stop expecting somebody or something to keep you functioning and fulfilled on a non-stop basis. Only God can do that as you learn to depend on Him. But he wants to do it HIS way (Philippians 4:19).

Rather than plugging into things that are unstable and subject to change-your health, money, affections and best intentions of your mate-plug into God instead. He's the only one in your life that can never change. His promises, love and faithfulness will always remain. That is why you need to seek him everyday.