Love Dare Day 25

Whatever you have not forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to 'forgive us of our debts' each day we must ask him to help us 'forgive our debtors' as well. Unforgiveness have been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart "I choose to forgive."



Feel free to post your thoughts/experiences on this dare

This one is tough. Perhaps the toughest dare. But if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a daily basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It can not be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put in practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage will not.

Imagine yourself in a prison like setting. As you look around you see a number of cells visible from where you are standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there- people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point. You might see your parents, perhaps a brother or sister or other family members. Even you spouse is locked nearby, trapped with the others in this jail of your making.

The prison is a room in your heart. This dark, drafty, depressed chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.

But you do not want a part in it. These people knew what they were doing, yet they did it anyways, even your spouse the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You are unwilling to stay there any longer, seeing Jesus, seeing the key in his hand, knowing what he is asking you to do. It is too much.

But in trying to escape you realize there is no way out. You are trapped inside with all the others. You unforgiveness, anger, bitterness have made you a prisoner as well. Like the servant of Jesus' in the bible who was forgiven an impossible debt-but who did not forgive another who had debt with him, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is dependent on your forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you are not turning them loose, you are just turning them over to God who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You are saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It is not about winning or losing anymore, it is about freedom and letting go.

Great marriages are not created by people who have never hurt each other, only by those who choose to 'keep no record of wrongs'. (1 Corinthians 13:5)