If someone were to ask you "why do you love your spouse?" what would you say? Most men would mention their wives beauty, her sense of humor, her kindness or inner strength, they might mention her cooking, or what a good mother she is. Women would probably say something about their husbands looks or personality and would commend him for his steadiness.
But what if over the years your spouse stopped being every one of those things. Would you still love them? Based on the answers above, the only logical response would be no.
The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional. The truth is love is not determined by one being loved, but rather than by one choosing to love. This type of love is referred too in the bible as agape. It differs from other types of love which are friendship (phileo) and sexual love (eros). Both friendship and sex have an important part in marriage, but if your total marriage depends on having common interests or enjoying a healthy sex life, than the foundation of your relationship is unstable. These types of love can fluctuate based on feelings, while agape love is selfless and unconditional. Sp unless this type of love forms the foundation of marriage, the wear and tear of time will destroy it.
If a man says "I have fallen out of love with you" he is actually saying "I never loved you unconditionally to begin with." His love was based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment. That is the result of building a marriage on sexual love or friendship. There must be a stronger foundation than this. Unconditional, agape love will not be swayed by time or circumstance.
That is not to say that love which began with the wrong reasons can not be restored and redeemed. In fact, when you rebuild your marriage with agape as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects become more endearing than ever.
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