Taking a day off

In the begining of the day I didn't do so well due to caffiene withdrawls (my first day without coke in a LONG time) Rick was moody and we got that straightened out so I am taking a day off. I've been busy all day. More love dare tomorrow.

Love Dare Day 19 ~ The Truth and Reflection

I was actually thinking before I read today's dare that I might need to blog a reflection. Because I have to still remember why I do this and remember to not just do Day 19 on Day 19... I need to continue doing the practices I learned Day 1 through eternity... Not just for Rick either its for anyone and just generally how I am as a person.

Love Dare Day 1.

The first part of the dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation aries choose not to say anything. It is better to hold your tongue than say something you will regret.

This is one I do work on a daily basis. I have about an 80% success rate. My problem its in my personality to speak my mind especially to ones I love.

Love Dare Day 2.

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected act of kindness.

I would rather this one become more habitual. Not such a good sucess rate.

I did well on the day of the dare but I used to do alot more RAK for Rick than I do now. Especially when I don't feel good and I am frustrated I just feel more now than ever to just shut down.

Love Dare Day 3.

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."

I don't have the ability to do this as I wish. I am all about being thoughtful. I think I do it more indirectly than directly. I wonder if he notices?

Love Dare Day 4

Contact you spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

I help remind him through out the day of things he needs to remember, just a general I love you, Or something I found he should be interested in. Either by email, text message or phone call.

Love Dare Day 5

Ask you spouse to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is their perspective only.Feel free to post your thoughts/experiences on this dare

The reply this doesn't need much follow up other than to work on it

Love Dare Day 6

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

I work on this daily as well with not perfect results but better results than previous to Love Dare.

Love Dare Day 7

For today's dare, get 2 sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having that characteristic.

I destroyed the paper but it still sticks in my mind and its not a happy sight for me.

Love Dare Day 8

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

Honestly the truth is I am jealous of his loyality to the Army. It hurts me and at the same time I look forward to recieving that loyality myself.

Love Dare Day 9

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

This is very important to me anyways. Loosing my first husband suddenly the last words we exchanged were very hateful. I am determined to not part with anyone else on those kind of terms. Those aren't terms I want to pay for when I get to the Gates. In order to arrive with a smile and part with a smile that means when you enter a room don't enter a room and spread negativity. When you leave a room make sure you leave the best part of you. This should be an everyday in every way occurance.

Love Dare Day 10

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-Something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash his car, clean the kitchen, buy his favorite dessert, fold the laundry, demonstrate love to him for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage

Every day in my marriage I think of how my husband would react to my actions and what effect my actions will have on my marriage. Whats good for the Goose IS good for the gander?

Love Dare Day 11

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Choose a gesture that says "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

I am not your 1930's submissive housewife cleaning husband's feet but I do love to dote on my husband and every day we can at lunch time I do rub his head and lay down with him while he takes a quick nap. I know he needs physical affection its his LOVE LANGUAGE and its definately what he needs to survive.

Love Dare Day 12

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

This one is a hard challenge for me like I said I speak my mind. Its hard for me to not correct him but at the same time I have backed off alot on the parental portion and let him handle some good and bad. I just step back.

Love Dare Day 13

Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

We got a date night and we did discuss this at dinner. I didn't get a chance to blog about our wonderful night.

Love Dare Day 14

Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together.

Rick and I are rarely apart if he isn't at work. There isn't much need for us to part doesn't the Army take enough time away from us? Didn't a year seperation for the deployment do enough? Why don't my friends agree? Instead they think we are together and too diabetically sweet to each other. What gives?

Love Dare Day 15

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine.

To do this on a daily basis just should be second nature to any relationship.

Love Dare Day 16

Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.

Love Dare Day 17

Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

I don't think of betraying him.

Love Dare Day 18

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate

Love Dare Day 17 The Truth

I know alot of things about Rick that I don't tell anyone. Alot of things he guards his children from knowing. Alot of things I know his deepest emotions and thoughts. I would hope so anyways. We were discussing my love dare journey in Therapy and the Therapist showed him Day 17 and he saw the word intimacy typical male assumed it meant sex lol. I was thinking i know I didn't read anything about sex and just told him intimacy doesn't ALWAYS mean sex...

Love Dare Day 14 The Truth

Today's Dare is to purposely neglect something I would normally do to spend time with your spouse. I spent the whole day with Rick! I was off of the computer by 7:45 this morning and didn't get back on it (no matter the urge) till past 9 pm.
We went to Yard Sales, Thrift Stores, Drove around the mountain then went to our favorite mall :)

Oh yeah and then we actually went out to dinner without kids YAY

Love Dare Day 12 The Truth

The Truth is we didn't fight all day till now. I am slightly holding my tongue. So Love Dare Day 12 done. My friend sent me some special scrapbook paper today and I hadn't had a chance to go through it and put it away properly and sure enough everyone seems to be attacking it when I point it out they are knocking it in the floor they don't pick it up then I put it on the bed so I can put it away and Rick sits right on it. *taking deep breaths* Not to mention I get attitude for just telling him to be careful around the paper.

Love Dare Day 11 The Truth

The truth is past two days I haven't been doing my Love Dare as I should. I am not consumed by the spirit anymore. Thats the truth. I did do some chores that I know my husband has been wanting me to get done I just got overwhelmed and haven't done them. No excuses I am just slacking.

Today I am noticing my own temper alot too. Skylar asking fifteen times if she can go play with Maria when I have already given her an answer. Her asking when Rick is coming home. Its I am BORED I am BORED I tell her she can go to her room and stay there till she finds something to do or go play outside. Its not very nice and I am aggrvated. Then Rick comes into the picture and he is clearly in a bad mood but of course being male he won't voice WHAT is wrong so then I am annoyed that he won't communicate and the fact that he is whining like a child. Why doesn't Skylar have her homework done by 6 pm because the Teacher told me to give her a break after school. So I do and then I was doing chores, then we went out for ice cream, then we ate dinner (I know ass backward but we had to do it that way) and then she got to do her homework. She wanted HIM to help her she never likes me to help her... So what was the problem? Ole Cranky pants...
UGH I am trying to control my temper I guess we all have our bad days and my day has been negative since before I woke up.

I am not in the mood to be daring haha.

Love Dare Day 10 ~ The Truth

I didn't do anything amazing for my hubby today. Just a normal Tuesday for us scurring around to all our appointments as usual. Maybe I won't be so tired or busy tomorrow my first D minus I guess on the Dares.

At Therapy our homework for the week is Rick to check on my dares and see what I have been doing/accomplishing hahaha sneaky Melanie!! My homework is how I have changed and improved my temper and attitude... What is she implying there?

The Love Dare Day 9 The Truth

Very rarely do I greet my husband without enthusiasm I have to be pretty pissed to greet him at the door with an ass chewing. That's just me lol I know how bad it feels to receive and give that.

Love Dare Day 8 ~ The Truth

Rick has been really stressed out taking on some almost all of my duties. Dealing with Army demands, TDY's to Ft Campbell, Pressure to succeed (on himself), Retirement, School, The house in Texas and buying a house here. This prayer couldn't come soon enough.

Love Dare Day 7~ The Truth

I wrote short lists. For some reason a whole lot didn't come to mind on either list I guess thats a good thing. His positives I find very endearing and his faults well I find are irritating honestly LOL some of them are just my pet peeves too. Nothing on the lists would make me say WHY Did I marry him? I love him and I don't regret marrying him for a second.

As for me trying to keep up with previous days... I was trying to continue to practice days 1-6 even on Day 7 and so on. But we had a long day out at the park he was preparing dinner and Skylar accidently spilled her spaghetti. I had a dirty towel within reach so I cleaned up the mess with a dirty towel and he snapped at me for using a dirty towel instead of a paper towel and I did snap back.

I will be blogging about our day out at the park on the main blog :) www.armyknightslady.blogspot.com

Love Dare Day 6 ~ The Truth

I wish I would have done this from the begining of the blog and seperated my Dares from their result or their Truth's...

Day Six nothing much to report. I had a GOOD day and it was pretty uneventful... Rick (I asked for his assistance with this one) couldn't make heads or tails of it. I guess it will come up maybe on a later date.

Love Dare Day Five Rick's Reply

I will share our emails from today

From: Hubby at Work
Date: 4/23/2009 4:19:56 PM
To: rmeknightslady
Subject: Re: Three Things

Cleaning!!!!!
loud voice at times
no third thing, cleaning counts as TWO!!!
so what are three things that get on your nerves about ME
not counting my OCD cleaniness
'

From: rmeknightslady
Date: 4/23/2009 4:27:46 PM
To: Hubby at Work
Subject: Re: Three Things

That you mention my need to get out of the house at least once a day if not every other day. Its pretty damn often and it makes me feel bad or that my feelings suck. Okay
Second lack of listening once this improves your hearing problem will improve as well haha
And the third I bet you can figure it out.
Loves u

Love Dare Day 5

Ask you spouse to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is their perspective only.
Feel free to post your thoughts/experiences on this dare

Love is not rude. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. In marriage this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips. When a man is driven by love, he intentionally behaves in a way that is more pleasant to be around. If a woman desires to love him, she purposefully avoids things that frustrate him or cause him disrespect.
Good manners express to your significant other "I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who's a pleasure to be with." When love changes your behavior you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship.
If you don't let love motivate you to make needed changes in your behavior, the quality of your relationship will suffer. Love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard. Do you wish your significant other would quit doing things that bother you? Then it is time to quit doing things that bother them.

For Day 4 I sent him a text message while he was at school telling him I love him and how I appreciate how much he has put up with me this week since I have been resting alot due to pain and lack of sleep. I am hoping to take it easy so I can at least get one day of good sleep then go on about normally if possible